The final scorecard

Best women: Serbia/Greece
Best people: Belgrade, Serbia (totally biased but whatever)
Coolest travelers met: backpackers in Copenhagen/on trains to, from Belgrade
Best food: Novi Sad, Serbia
Worst food: Tivoli Gardens, Copenhagen, Denmark
Most beautiful city: Venice, Italy
Most beautiful non-city: Republic of Srpskom, Bosnia and Herzogovenia (or wherever the hell I really was)
Best beaches: Greece
Most interesting (recent) history: Hungary/Serbia
Best bang for your buck: Belgrade/Budapest
Worst bang for your buck: Copenhagen, Denmark
Coolest historical site: underground castle labyrinth, Budapest/Pompeii
Most English Spoken: Sweden/Denmark
Least English Spoken: Italy
Currency that was most difficult to calculate: Serbian Dinar (66 dinars to 1 USD? seriously?)
Weakest currency: Hungarian Forint, the HUF (1000 HUF = $5)
Most embarrassing moment that nobody saw: drying my clothes with the stove in Venice
Backpackers’ dream: Budapest (cheap, plethora of places to stay, easy to meet other travelers, high backpacker-to-tourist ratio)
Backpackers’ nightmare: Venice (very expensive, extremely difficult to navigate, shortage of younger visitors, very high tourist-to-backpacker ratio)
Most nazi-ish country about their internet: Italy (charge €6/hour for access at internet cafés, require passports and an Italian cell phone for hotspot usage)
Most terrifying place to cross the street: Naples, Italy (definitely saw a pedestrian get struck crossing the street)

Did I forget anything??